“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” — Rumi.
Many people think of purpose as something mystical—you’re “born with” it, and if you’re lucky, one day you’ll stumble across it like buried treasure. But the truth is, no one is born with a pre-packed purpose.
I know this may contradict what many of us were taught, especially in faith circles. A popular Christian perspective says, “There was a purpose that necessitated your birth.” While that sounds inspiring, I still disagree with the idea that purpose is predetermined and static.
Purpose, in reality, grows out of the soil of your environment, your upbringing, your experiences, your values, and even your struggles. It is not just what you’re passionate about today. It is the deeper “why” that slowly takes shape as you live, reflect, and connect the dots.
For example, my own sense of purpose—to help people live a life of meaning and significance—didn’t fall from the sky. It was born from watching people around me live in survival mode (myself included), and realizing the tragedy of potential wasted. I saw what happens when people drift through life without a sense of direction, and I also glimpsed what could happen if they awakened to their inner genius. That combination of frustration, anger, and vision became the mother-drive of my life.
This is why I agree with Cal Newport’s critique of the common advice, “Follow your passion.” Passion can be fleeting. It can change with seasons, moods, or opportunities. But purpose—when it’s shaped by your experiences, refined by reflection, and aligned with your strengths—is enduring. I wrote about this extensively in one of my blog posts titled, “Why Purpose Outlives Passion: The Secret to Lifelong Impact.”
Adenike Oyetunde’s Story: Pain Becoming a Platform
Take the story of Adenike Oyetunde, a Nigerian lawyer and media personality. At just 20 years old, she was diagnosed with bone cancer and had her right leg amputated. For most people, this kind of life-altering experience would end their dreams, crush their sense of identity, and lock them in bitterness.
But Adenike’s story shows us something different. Out of that pain, she uncovered a new purpose: to become a voice and advocate for people living with disabilities. She went on to found the Amputees United Initiative and later The Gratitude Hub, empowering amputees and others to embrace life with dignity. She even became Senior Special Assistant to the Lagos State Government on Persons Living with Disability.
Her purpose wasn’t something she was “born with.” It grew out of her story—the environment of pain, resilience, and empathy that life handed her. She didn’t become her purpose; rather, her identity expressed itself in new ways because she allowed her pain to shape her “why.”
Here’s the paradox: purpose isn’t fully formed at the beginning. You don’t get it wrapped in a golden envelope at birth. You discover it as you walk the road, as you do the work, as you reflect on your story.
The question is not, “What is my purpose?” but rather, “What is my story teaching me about the kind of difference I am meant to make?”
Joseph Dosu’s Story: When Purpose Evolves
Purpose can also shift when life redirects you. Consider Joseph Dosu, Nigeria’s first-choice goalkeeper during the 1996 Olympics, where he helped the Super Eagles win gold. His career was skyrocketing, and his identity seemed secure—until a devastating car accident in 1997 ended his playing days at just 23.
For many athletes, that would have been the end of the road. When the role you’ve tied your sense of self to disappears, despair easily follows. But Dosu didn’t let his story end there. Instead, he uncovered a new expression of purpose—mentorship. He transitioned into coaching and founded the Westerlo Football Academy in Lagos, nurturing young players with big dreams.
Dosu’s story reminds us: you are not your role, you are not your career, you are not even your current expression of purpose. Your core identity is deeper. If life closes one door, your purpose can evolve into another form, still rooted in who you are and what your story has shaped you to care about.
You Are Not Your Purpose
And this brings me to something very important: you are not your purpose.
You express your purpose, yes. But your identity is not chained to it. If you confuse who you are with what you do, you risk living a performance-driven life. For example, if I say, “I am a purpose coach,” I might begin to draw my entire sense of worth from whether or not I am “succeeding” in that role. If life wants to express itself through another channel—say, becoming a nutrition coach, or an artist, or a teacher—I may resist it because I can’t imagine having two “identities.”
Your purpose can evolve, but it will always grow out of the soil of your story. And your identity—your truest self—is deeper than all expressions of purpose.
Start Where You Are
So, don’t wait for purpose to strike like lightning. Don’t sit around waiting for a burning bush moment. Begin where you are. Sharpen your skills. Serve people with what you have. Reflect on what moves you deeply, what gives you joy, or even what breaks your heart.
In that slow uncovering, you’ll find the deeper why of your life. And just like Adenike and Dosu, you’ll realize purpose is not what you’re born with. It’s what you uncover, refine, and express through the story you’ve been given.